Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV

I've been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar. Moving along… Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say.

Mother's Day

Hello, little man. I will destroy you! You'll have all the Slurm you can drink when you're partying with Slurms McKenzie! Well I'da done better, but it's plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence.

Parasites Lost

Ok, we'll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we'll go ride the bumper cars. Now what? You can crush me but you can't crush my spirit! With gusto.

A Pharaoh to Remember

Ummm…to eBay? I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan! Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient? Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say. Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun! And then the battle's not so bad?

  1. Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar.
  2. All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that's why I'm transferring to business school!
The Honking

Negative, bossy meat creature! Oh, I think we should just stay friends. In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells.